Calvo to ‘Take Back Control’ from County Council

CALVERTON IS TO VOTE on whether or not it wants to leave Nottinghamshire County Council, sources claim.

Following the example of Heamoor village in Cornwall, which wants to split from its local authority in Penzance, Calverton is looking to take back control from Nottinghamshire County Council.

‘Residents always blame the Parish Council for things they don’t like in the village,’ said local man Norris Thetford, outside the chippy.

‘Including those things which are demonstrably not the remit of the Parish Council but demonstrably are the remit of the County Council.

‘So why not actually be in charge of County Council things? It just avoids confusion. And paperclips.’

Because British politics is always fair and democratic, villagers will get to vote on the proposal in a referendum, a decision which has worried 48% of Calverton.

‘If they make it a binary stay / go question with no clear explanation about the implications of either decision this could go pear-shaped,’ said Norris.

‘That’s just my opinion, because obviously there’s no recent, comparable situation I can think of which shows how divisive and destructive these kinds of arrangements can be.’

A spokesman for the other 52% of Calverton wasn’t able to comment until he’d finished painting some made-up figures on the side of a red bus.