Woodborough to be Replaced with Football Stadium

A PLANNING APPLICATION to build a football stadium in Woodborough will be made to Gedling Borough Council next month, sources claim.

Calverton Miners Welfare FC wants to build an 80,000-capacity sports arena in Woodborough alongside state-of-the-art commercial units and parking space for up to 10,000 vehicles.

‘This is brilliant news for Calverton,’ said Glenn Gilbert, spokesman and reserve team coach for Calverton Miners Welfare FC.

‘It will create hundreds of jobs for the people of Calverton. It won’t create any jobs for the people of Woodborough, though, because to make room for the stadium Woodborough would cease to exist. Seriously. We’d just level it.’

Gilbert added: ‘Calverton Miners Welfare FC has very ambitious plans, and these plans do not include the continuing existence of Woodborough at this time.’

Opposition to the application is expected to be fierce, with Woodborough Parish Council and Nottinghamshire County Council already expressing outrage.

In the meantime, UEFA will announce the outcome of its investigation into Calverton Miners Welfare FC later this month. If the investigation goes against the club, it will not be able to compete in next season’s Champions League.

‘We might just build the stadium anyway,’ said Gilbert.

Stadiumy McStadium Face. That’s what we’ll call it.’

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