Calvo Man Incensed by Helpful Council Worker

A CALVERTON MAN has been angered by some pleasant and helpful service at the local recycling centre, reports a witness.

‘This fella drove up with a car full of rubbish and a heart full of misery,’ said local resident and keen recycler Norris Thetford.

‘He moaned when one of the workers directed him to skip number five in perfect English with an Eastern European accent. Why? The complainant’s been on loads of holidays to Greece and Spain but has never once tried to speak a word of the local language.

‘I reminded him of this, but apparently that situation is different.

‘He then started banging on about how Britain won the war, even though the most basic inspection of the historical evidence shows that the Axis powers were defeated by the collaborative efforts of multiple nations across Europe and the rest of the world with all major cultures and faiths represented.

Look. I’ve considered all possible explanations for what I saw but can only conclude that this fella went to the tip to look for something, anything, to validate his worst prejudices and xenophobia.

And boy, didn’t that worker deliver with his professionalism, grace and humanity.’

It’s been confirmed that the worker won his job through fair and open competition and didn’t ‘steal it’ from the complainant’s nephew, a benefits fraudster from Strelley who’s just bought himself a brand-new X-Box.