Villagers Gaze Forlornly at Moon

LAST NIGHT’S LUNAR ECLIPSE was hard to see properly, say villagers.

The astronomical event, which took place around 10.30 pm, saw many Calverton residents raising their eyes to the heavens and pointing at the moon, something they do even when there is no eclipse, to be fair.

Nothing dramatic occurred, though a naked man was found dead in a field in Woodborough this morning after being shot with bullets fashioned from silver.

‘The view of the eclipse was pretty rubbish,’ said local woman Stella Pipette, owner of a horse and the several sheep mysteriously massacred in a field in Woodborough last night.

The best view of the eclipse in Calverton was at William Lee Memorial Park. Referring to the alignment of the sun and the moon, one observer said:

‘Once they spun in line, night was falling above, at the Village Hall in the dark.

‘Nothing we can see, it’s a total eclipse in the park.’

‘The eclipse was partial and not total,’ said a pedant, spoiling the quite brilliant Bonnie Tyler joke for everyone.