Anger as More Facebook Groups to be Built in Calverton

VILLAGERS ARE CONCERNED about plans to build more Facebook groups in Calverton.

‘It’s outrageous,’ said an angry man on three different Calvo Facebook groups, which would have been four if he hadn’t been blocked from the fourth for posting inappropriate comments about people who don’t appear to belong to his particular cultural and social demographic.

‘Say it’s 400 new houses in the village at an average of three people per house,’ he fumed.

‘That’s more than a thousand people. That’s potentially twenty Facebook groups, increasing to about 100 as people leave the original groups in a huge mardy huff and set up their own groups. Then more mardiness leads to more groups.

‘Let’s call it 500 Facebook groups. The village can’t cope. I’ll be leaving grumpy comments on all of these groups. All of them.’

In related news, Facebook today failed to solve any of the village’s problems, due to time spent on social media not being as effective as time spent meaningfully engaging with the people and organisations with the remits and responsibilities to do something about those problems.

‘Writing politely to councils and schools has never been my Trusthouse Forte,’ said the villager, referencing a chain of hotels and restaurants instead of the word ‘forte’ and seemingly being unaware of the distinction between the two.

No, of course I don’t bother to vote. They’re all as bad as each other, as anyone reading my comments on Facebook will tell you.’