A VILLAGER seems convinced that MP Mark Spencer has been asked by the Prime Minister to take up the post of Walnut Whip in his Cabinet.
‘I read it somewhere. I think it was the Daily Mail or the Beano,’ said the villager, of Renals Way, Calverton.
‘I don’t know much about politics, because I’ve never done the work to develop informed opinions, or vote.
‘But even I know you can’t make rebellious MPs fall in line and vote through government policy when you’re a whirl-shaped cone of milk chocolate with a whipped vanilla fondant filling, topped with half a walnut. That’s just ridiculous.
‘Does he have to wear a giant Walnut Whip costume? It would melt in the sun, surely.’
When informed that Mr Spencer’s new job was Chief Whip and not Walnut Whip, the villager wandered off, muttering.
‘In charge of all the other Walnut Whips? Bonkers.’