MANY DISGRUNTLED BELGIANS staged an angry demonstration at Nice Cote d’Azur airport today as officials from Calverton Miners Welfare FC arrived in Monaco for tomorrow’s UEFA Champions League group stage draw.
‘It is a disgrace,’ moaned lifelong Racing Club Genk supporter Mats Ruben Wouters, waving a placard.
‘The Calverton club hacked UEFA to put itself in the draw and to take Genk out. And it got away with it. We were the only Belgian club already in the group stage, now there may be no Belgian club in the tournament at all. This is why we protest for Belgium today.’
‘Look. We don’t have a problem with Belgium,’ said Miners Welfare captain Stevie Stokes.
‘Who doesn’t like a pint of Stella? Or any of those other Belgian beers whose names I can’t currently remember? And what about Eddie Merckx, that famous cyclist or possibly footballer?
‘Belgium’s great, and I’m sure Genk is too. I’m sure Belgium feels the same way about Genk as England does about, say, Wolverhampton.
‘But Calverton Miners Welfare FC is in this competition fair and square, and we’re excited about the draw tomorrow.
‘Eddie Merckx. A cyclist. Definitely a cyclist. Or a snooker referee.’
The Belgian Football Association has appealed to all English people with any sense of fair play to drink more Stella in solidarity.
‘We’d drink the Stella anyway,’ said a man from Dunstable in the duty-free shop.
‘Given everything that’s going on, it’s the best way to numb the pain of being English these days.’
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