Just Put Up Some Signs, For Duck’s Sake

THE LOCAL WILDLIFE COMMUNITY is mourning the tragic loss of another fallen comrade today.

Ducky McDuckFace, a duck, of Bonner Lane, Calverton, was killed this morning by a speeding Mk3 Reliant Robin outside the Springwater Chinese Restaurant, sparking outrage across the village from both people and ducks.

‘I’m completely devastated,’ said Ducky’s best friend, Downy McQuackQuack, a small Abacot Ranger duck.

‘Me and Ducky go back years. Known each other since we were eggs. Now he’s gone. I can’t believe it.’

‘We’ve been lobbying those birds on the Duck Council for chuffing months now,’ said Micky Feathers, a local activist and campaigner for duck rights.

‘But will they put up any ‘Avoid Speeding Vehicles’ signs on that road to warn any ducks who might be crossing? No. It’s heartless. A complete dereliction of duty.

‘I suppose one solution might be to get the humans to put up ‘Duck Crossing’ signs in an effort to make them drive their cars less quickly, but I’m not sure that’s anyone’s priority right now.’

Ducky McDuckFace leaves behind a wife and three adorable young ducklings who’ll never know the warmth and comfort of their father’s tender feathery embrace.

Emotional blackmail. See if that works with the County Council. Nothing else has so far,’ said Calverton.

‘Failing that, play them this video.’

  • Disclaimer: no ducks were harmed in the writing of this story.